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What does Islam say about marriage with converted man/woman?
We recently recieved a question regarding marriage of a woman with a converted man, he was Qadiani but now has accpeted Islam. What is the Shariah rulling of marriage of a Muslim woman with such man. Here is the e-mail we recieved along with the answer. The e-mail address has been masked for confidentiality.
Date: Wed, 17 Apr 2002 11:30:44 +0000
I have a problem to discuss , I hope you will solve it, the problem
There is a person who has embraced Islam few months ago , before he used to be a qadiani , but now Alhumdo-lillah! He has embraced Islam and he fufils all the requirements of Islam as well, he is very honest, sincere and a pious man, he has completely changed himself.He has proposed me to marry him, I have accepted his proposal but my parents think that still he (after embracing Islam ) will be a called a kafir.HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? Our religion does not teach us such things, even our Holy Prophet Hazrat Muhammad ( s.a.w.) always appreciated the new muslims , and never called them a kafir ( disbeliever), I need your help in this concern , please give me the proper
logics in the light of Holy Quran of how I can convince my parents as I am a muslim girl and I have consulted many people all of them say that a person after embracing Islam is a muslim , and it is a sin to call someone a “kafir” after that person embraces Islam.
Please help me solve this problem as I want to marry that person only because he is a very nice man, he has even left his parents just for Islam . I need your reply and the solution to this problem as soon as you can.I will be grateful to you. Thankyou!
Date: 19 Apr 2002 06:23:29 -0000 ]
Asslam u Alaikum Saba Rauf,
Thank you for your question at our website. I really feel sorry of the attitude your parents are showing, but I can understand this as its a typical of many Muslims. Social acceptance of a converted person is very important but is seldomly guaranteed. To look at this issue you need to not only look at the issue Islamically but also more on the ground basis. First of all I want you to look if your parents are rejecting your choice because they have another option? . Then look another way are you sure that his actions are more then convincing that he is now a completely devoted Muslim not Qadiani?. And last comes the solution.
Lets see what happens in the case :
If your parents are only rejecting the person because they have another one in their mind then you need to either discuss this problem to its solution or you need to rethink over your own discussion. You can be wrong and so can be your parents, marriage is one issue that demands more understanding then what your eyes can see! Compare the both guys logically keeping your heart away for a while. Even then if you want to marry him then proceed to the solution, or if this is not the case.
And if it’s due to case :
Many people convert to Islam due to their beloved. This kind of conversion is either temporary or just from outside. Make 100% sure that he is really what he is showing himself to be. Because believe me changing from Qadiani is not an easy job, even changing from Shia to Sunni or vice versa isn't. This is one thing, which might be raising doubts in your parents' mind.
Look Saba now if you are reading this paragraph then I believe you are clear of all doubts. Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w)'s one wife was formally a Jew. It is obvious that wives have some jealousy for each other and so did of the Prophet's. Once he (s.a.w) heard that his wives call her "Yahoodiah" (Jewish). Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) abandoned going to their houses and said "Who so ever calls a Muslim with his/her old religion does Sin-Kabeera [biggest sin of all]". Also the attitude of your parents are holding a threat to meaning to Islam too. Islam has always encouraged the social acceptance of the converters, if we don't accept then this will establish a divide between us (born Muslims) and the newly converted Muslims.
Other then this all Saba, you seem to be a mature person (adult according to Shariah), you can make decision on your own and there is nothing un-Islamic in it. But Islam requires you to keep your parents happy of your actions so I would advice you to keep that in the perspective too. And remember your parents cannot impose anything on you, not only in any country but also not even Islam allows this act.
I am not a Mufti, but have some knowledge of Islam that is what made me to write this reply, which I hope you will find helpful. I pray from Allah that He decide best for you.